7 Reasons Why Pokémon is Secretly Nightmare Fuel
With a successful line of video games, films, and television shows, Pokémon is one of the most successful children’s franchises of all time. So successful, that the odds are pretty good that you have played at least one of the numerous Pokémon adventures. And while most people naturally associate Pokémon with cute and cuddly creatures, there is a lot of creepy stuff going on under the surface that proves that the games are aimed at kids, but intended for adults. Here, we’ll take a look at the top seven reasons why Pokémon is actually nightmare fuel. Warning, childhood ruining moments lie ahead.
7. Cubone’s Mom Has Got Creepy Stuff Going On
Most players are aware of Cubone’s creepy back story. The infant child of a deceased mother, a Cubone will wear it’s late mom’s skull as a protective helmet. These Pokémon are reclusive, sad, and lonely, forever mourning the loss of its mother. For a game seemingly geared towards young kids, a sad little Pokémon that wears its dead mother’s skull is shockingly dark. While Cubone is a pretty familiar example of Pokémon creepiness, many people overlook an even darker, more disturbing fact. How does Cubone remove the skull from its mother’s body?
Now, I understand that Pokémon fights are viscious, and some fatal, but it’s pretty improbable that every Pokémon death ends with a decapitation. What if Cubone’s mom was killed by, say incineration, or electric shock? Cubone would have to personally, decapitate, gut, and skin its dead mother. Without, any visibly sharp fangs or claws, this act would have to be a horrifying mess. Next time you see a cute little mopey Cubone, remember what it’s capable of.
6. Golbat Will Feast on the Blood of Your Children
If the thought of a giant, five foot tall bloodsucking bat wasn’t scary enough, take a quick look at Golbat’s Pokédex entries. Firstly, in Heart Gold, it mentions how other creatures are almost defenseless to its blood lust: “However hard its victim’s hide may be, it punctures with sharp fangs and gorges itself with blood”. Well, that can’t be good, can it? Things get even worse when you read the Leaf Green Pokédex entry. “Once it strikes, it will not stop draining energy from the victim even if it gets too heavy to fly”.
Essentially, Golbat will pierce your skin and drink your blood until it can’t even fly. Remember the part when I said that Golbat was five feet tall? Think of how much blood it would have to drink to become overencumbered? At almost 125 pounds, Golbat could make easy work of small children, which seem to roam the world in great abundance.
To drive home how terrifying this is, I’ll apply some basic human knowledge and perform some Mythbusters style calculations. Generally, an adult can’t survive after losing more than 40% of his/her blood, and that’s being generous. If you were out in the wilderness like a Pokémon trainer, losing even less than 40% would be near fatal. Since the average adult has about six quarts of blood in their system, they would have to lose around two and a half quarts to die. That’d mean a Golbat would have to drink the equivalent of only two and a quarter bottles of large soda to kill a healthy adult. A child would probably have half that amount. Suddenly you start to question how kid-friendly the Pokémon world is.
5. Hypno, Why Don’t You Take a Seat Over There?
There is a surprising amount of freedom that children are allowed to have in the world of Pokémon, considering the fact that there are predators like Hypno, just waiting to lure away unsuspecting minors. It sounds dirty, and creepy, yeah, but upon reading Hypno’s background, things turn from pervy to terrifying.
Hypno uses its trademark pendulum to hypnotize its victims to sleep, luring them away into the unknown. Hypno likes to hang around schools and abandoned roads, waiting to strike, ready to hypnotize unassuming children before stealing them away, never to be seen again. The implications here are terrifying: Is there some sort of cave out there, with hundreds of stolen children? What does Hypno do with these kids? Do I even want to know? Probably not.
4. Machoke Lives in Eternal Anguish
The eerily human Machoke is another creepy member of the original 151. I’m sure that you have noticed the long red lines on Machoke’s biceps and forearms, but do you know what those lines are? Machoke is quite literally bursting with muscles, and it is heavily implied that the red lines are Machoke’s muscles, underneath areas where its skin has stretched apart. Think about that. Why is it smiling? Perhaps Machoke isn’t actual smiling, but constantly grimacing in agony.
Also, the Pokédex sheds light on its special garments, saying that “Machoke’s boundless power is very dangerous, so it wears a belt that suppresses its energy.” This raises another horrifying question: what happens to wild Machokes? The belt these Pokémon wear seems to be artificial, presumably crafted by humans, so what happens to Machokes born in the wild? If they didn’t have the belt, would they eventually explode into a mass of torn flesh and bulging muscle?
3. What Exactly Happens Inside a Pokéball?
There is some debate as to what happens to Pokémon stored inside a Pokéball, with fans divided over two different possibilities. While there no definitive explanation as to the inner workings of Pokéballs, the two most popular explanations both have terrifying connotations.
Some argue that when stored in a Pokéball, Pokémon are conscious, and aware of time and space. This theory is supported by the fact that Pokémon respond to commands when they are in Pokéball form, such as when the Pokémon trainer throws the Pokéball into battle. This is unsettling to many, however, since this implies that Pokémon can be potentially imprisoned for all of eternity, aware of the outside world, but powerless to escape. Just think of how many stored Pokémon you have, never to see the light of day.
Since this theory is so unnerving, many have accepted the fact the Pokémon are unconscious or comatose when stored in a Pokéball. This may seem a little more humane, at least until you think it through for a little bit. For the most part, Pokémon rarely spend time outside of the Pokéball, except for when they are in battle. Yes, you will occasionally see the odd Pokémon hanging around with its trainer, but for the most part, Pokémon live in their Pokéballs. If they are unconscious, this means that they have no perception of life inside the ball. All seems well, until you realize that for some Pokémon, their entire lives will consist of an endless string of battles. Pokémon know no rest, no peace, no happiness. Just fight after fight.
2. Yamask Will Make You Want to Quit Pokémon Forever
Yamask is a Pokémon that still haunts me to this day. First seen in Pokémon Black/White, Yamask is a Ghost Pokémon found in the ruins of Relic Castle. While Ghost-type Pokémon have always been a little unsettling, Yamask just pushes it over the edge. Take a look at what is said in Pokémon White’s Pokédex: “These Pokémon arose from the spirits of people interred in graves in past ages. Each retains memories of its former life.”
What. Seriously, that’s what it says. And guess what, things get worse with Pokémon Black’s Pokédex entry: “Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry.” That’s it man, game over. These Pokémon are fully sentient, rational beings. If you have ever used one in game, think about the implications. You have forcibly captured it, confined it, and sent it to fight other vicious beasts. Unlike other seemingly feral Pokémon, Yamask is quite aware of what it’s going through. It’s scared and alone, and probably just wants to go back to its family. When I realized this, I decided to remove Yamask from my party, sending him to my PC storage, which is just as bad. Yamask will spend an eternity, alone in a Poke ball. Stored in a computer. And it’s fully aware of this.
1. This is the Way The World Ends
Most players will have some vague knowledge in regards to the origin of Pokémon. Mentioned in passing, there are some hints dropped about how Pokémon have come from outer space. While somewhat correct, this is just the tip of the iceberg, and reveals something far, far darker.
Enter, the Pokérus. It is a rare virus that spreads from Pokémon to Pokémon, increases their strength, and rapidly advances their growth. While this sounds like some sort of non-canonical fan fiction, the Pokérus is a real thing. It has been an actual, stat altering gameplay element as far back as the second generation. Most people have never heard of it because infection is so rare. In fact, Bulbapedia states that a Pokémon has only a 3 in 65,536 chance to be infected.
In game, the Pokérus can be transmitted to other uninfected members of your party, and as far as the fiction is related, the Pokérus can apparently be transmitted to humans. (Let’s not wonder how this happens.) The virus causes extreme growth and mutation, and is explained as the origin of Pokémon. Allegedly coming down from outer space, the Pokérus infected animals, such as birds and fish, and mutated them into what we know as Pokémon. This explains why a majority of Pokémon resemble real animals – and don’t forget, this is all canonical.
So, knowing what the virus does to animals, what does it do to infected humans? Sooner or later, all of the humans will have the disease, and freakishly mutate in a similar way as Pokémon. Some argue that it is already happening in children (this explains how kids are so damn smart, and why they are strong enough to leave home at a young age). Sooner or later civilization will collapse, and only human-Pokémon hybrids will roam the world.
And you thought that Pokémon was for kids.
seen some of these before in the crazy pokemon fan theories.
as for the pokeball thing, i can only say that http://www.collegehumor.com/article/4069916/diary-of-a-charmander made me quit pokemon altogether for several years, only coming back to get the remake of gold and silver, my faves of the franchise.
you would like gold and silver, because you are a faggot
Whoa. I had read about the Pokerus before, but I never suspected that it played any actual part in the game.
A pokemon with pokerus has the exact same potential it had before, it just reaches it more readily. Pokerus is almost useless for anyone who understands how to affect their pokemon’s stats.
It’s not useless, it’s actually a pretty decent time saver if you’re EV training pokemon without using pokesav.
Excellent article, keep up the good work. The one that impressed me the most is that Hypno abducts children.
The Machoke thing made me laugh soooo much!! They have to put that belt on him pretty fast for him not to explode!! It’s always amazing what you’ll find in your pokedex =P
I will assume, for the sake of the shred of innocence left within my 17 year old body that Golbats only prey upon other Pokemon.
I don’t know why I’m even bothering though, since…
I think Pokemon that are stored in Pokeballs are in some kind of virtual world, kind of like a Pokemon paradise since you can store them in computers as well. Even this however raises two questions. Pokemon, when summoned to battle, are ripped out of their paradise to viciously fight another Pokemon to death. This will surely make them hate their trainers with the strength of a thousand suns. Also, how the hell can they be digitized? Are Pokemon some sort of technology experiment, conducted by some organization? Is the Pokemon world a lie? Is it all virtual reality? I don’t know, but I’m going to the bathroom to cry my eyes out.
Also, I’ve come up with another theory regarding Pokerus. Even assuming they don’t infect humans, it causes Pokemon to become harder, better, faster, stronger. This may result in a human-Pokemon war, with Pokemon with fucking Charizards, Salamences, Gyradoses, and Tyranitars on their side, massacre the human population and take over the planet. Could this be how Pokemon conquer other planets? That the ones discovered so far are just pawns to a super-race of Pokemon?
Marowak is ground type, it couldn’t die of electric shock DUH.
what if cubones mother was a kangaskan the creature in the poutch could be a cubone
>Since this theory is so unnerving, many have accepted the fact the Pokémon are unconscious or comatose when stored in a Pokéball.
In the manga, Pokemon are shown pretty clearly as being awake; Yellow talks to Mewtwo inside a Master Ball at one point, and earlier Red is able to beat Giovanni by performing a move faster than he can react because Pikachu charges up in the ball instead of after being released.
And yes, I do get all the ladies with my mad pokeyman skillz.
There is something that should be on the list. Food. This only concerns the tv show. They so no animals other then the pokemon but they show the characters eating beef stew and other meat from time to time. So where does this meat come from. Is brock out in the wood catching wild pokemon to butcher and cook?
humans infected with pokerus turn into machop – why do you think they look so human?
OH GOOD CHRIST.
hypno,jynx,mr.mime,electibuzz,alakazam,hitmonchan,and hitmonlee
Machoke’s arm lines are stretch marks. It just means his muscles grew too quickly and its skin was stretched out because of that, not that it exploded through.
I tell myself this every night. It’s just muscle… but I’m really just fat.
Pokérus + humans = machoke/ hariyama/ most other fighting types? Weird…
Wait, so they resemble animals because the pokerus infects animals, so when it infects humans do things like Mr. Mime or Jynx come from humans? With that said is Mr. Mime really just Ash’s dad and Mrs. Ketchum just keeps him here because shes painfully waiting for a cure?
uh… huh… its been a while since I last read such a pile of anti-pokemon crap… and I’ve seen religious types slam the series for being satanist in this time… Let’s start with number 7 and work downwards as the author has done shall we…
7) There has never been any explanation of when or how Cubone takes the skull from its deceased mother. There is a reasonable base for assumption that in the pokemon world, excarnation takes care of deceased pokemon. A system of burial that our own ancestors practiced for a considerable length of them yet this is not questioned in any manner similar to this…
6) Same logic applies to Golbat, the games have never said anytihng about it attacking humankind. Not only this, the only places in the games where Golbat and its pre-evolution appear are in caves, not a place anyone is likely to go without any form of protection anyways. Look at spelunkers in this reality.
5) Since this is aimed primarily at an attack on the games, lets continue with this train of thought. If the author had bothered to spend any time on the games and paying attention while doing so, they would know that no child is allowed out of their home town without a pokemon of their own to protect them. The main protagonist is a prime example of this.
4) Machoke living in eternal anguish… I’m beginning to get the picture of a social recluse of an author who has never had any significant height growth or increase in musclature. The evolution from Machop to Machoke would have left what are clearly stretch marks in the skin. As for the belt, pay attention to the evolution, as with the gloves of Hitmonchan, they develop naturally during the evolution process.
3) The pokeball… The idea that the author believes the pokemon are powerless to escape clearly pays no attention to the mechanics of a user controlled game or the only place where pokemon are shown to actually have a mind of their own in the anime, whereby pokemon quite often sure they have full control over their ability to escape. Even the catching process in the games indicate they have the power to escape, otherwise every catch would be a one ball attempt.
2) Yamask. You assume that automatically, the memories retained are of sadness and family. Pokemon originated in Japan. Their idea of death and the afterlife are vastly different from western understanding. Look at the spirit of Marowak from the original Red/Blue/Green games, once the angry spirit had been placated, it went to the afterlife. Why was it angry? Humankind had disturbed its slumber. This is the only canon evidence in games for any kind of angry spirit and evidently humankind made the first move in causing the upset. Pokemon are the problem? No, people are the problem.
1) Pokerus. That wonderful little piece of code that doubles all Effort Value gains from defeating, yes, defeating, not killing, an opponent. The author makes reference to pokerus being transmittable to humans in fan fiction, I remind said author that it is fan fiction and therefore has no place in canon and no basis for its facts. It is entirely without basis and the idea therefore irrelevant. The theory that it is the explanation behind the origin of pokemon is exactly that. If the author had chosen to actually do research into the topic, they would know that such origin theories have also been attributed to the 4th generation pokemon Arceus and the first generation Mew.
I welcome any attempts to refute my claims, but I would like to leave you with this: I have been playing pokemon for 15 years, studying the data in the games and watching the anime for that same amount of time. My knowledge is outmatched only by those who run the pokemon websites and investigate the coding.
reply to 2 of your points
6) how is protection going to help you, it said sharp and sharp things cut through thin latex easily
3)in the games they cant escape a master ball
6) Please note, I didn’t say latex protection, I used spelunkers as an example because thats the closest parallel we have. I fully imagine any cave travellers in the pokemon world would carry pokemon with them who would be capable of defending against the Golbat
3) The master ball has been a prototype for several years going through accepted canonical timeline in the games. There is no indication it will ever be mass produced and therefore can only be used once.
so its fine if only 1 pokemon gets unfairly trapped for eternity
You are a butt hurt virgin , and need to acept that not everyone that doesn’t go with a campy story hates the franchise . I go through Pokepasta every once in a while , and I liek the franchise . Chill out
It’s not anti Pokemon crap, it’s just food for though… God why does everything need that one guy who thinks we’re trying to send that ONE thing he likes straight to hell
7. Speculation, making your opinion no more valid than the author.
6. Every game involves you and your rival traveling through at least one cave. Not only that, the caves are usually en route to a gym, meaning many more trainers would have to go through it. Pokemon for protection is great, but in a more realistic style, a Golbat sneak attack has the horrible implication that tons of people die from them every year.
5. This doesn’t even apply to the article’s point, since Hypno stays outside of various public buildings that would be in someone’s home town. Travel anywhere you want; if there’s a school, Hypno is probably hiding behind a tree waiting for the bell.
4. Because we see stretch marks on all the evolutions, like when Treeco turns into Grovyle. The belt could easily be human-made, since (as they tell us in every medium of Pokemon) humans and Pokemon are extremely interconnected.
3. I suppose you were too busy pouring over all your guide books in search of some obscure piece of information to heighten your pedestal with that you never heard that locking noise Pokeballs make when they catch a Pokemon. That sound indicates the ball has locked, and their fighting is trying to prevent it from locking. Also, if we don’t see it, we can’t assume it happens, so Pokemon are only out very rarely for anything other than battle or contests. Don’t reference the show, since this is about the games.
2. They retain memories of being a human, which is disturbing on two parts. You’re catching what used to be a human being and forcing it to work and battle for you, basically meaning capturing a Yamask is a form of slavery. The very fact it has memories of a human (though not all of them) is psychologically damaging to the poor Yamask, since it has all these memories that they don’t have any connection to and this face attached to them that makes them feel extreme sadness whenever they look at it, but they don’t know why.
1. This theory has basis in facts, meaning it should be something to consider. Humanoid Pokemon must have come from somewhere if the virus worked as described here, meaning they must have been humans, nothing too unreasonable when we think back to Yamask. All Arceus says is that he created Pokemon; we never get told how. Who’s to say that a meteor didn’t hurdle towards Earth and infect the native animals with the virus, causing them to evolve at a faster rate, eventually leading to Pokemon. This could include early humans, as well, meaning present humans could still easily be in danger of infection.
1) dammit god poke’rus is a hack!!! that’s why 3 out of 5,30yadayada get it legit versions of games dont get the virus but non-legit gets it! 6)gulbat suks the blood from pokemon(which have so much blood,people are too lazy to count it)not humans. 5) lets just say to kids danger(hypno)is lurkin round at every turn.
I love how people say Golbat only drinks the blood of Pokemon. Just think, they attack you, the human, when they see you in a cave. Why else would it attack you if not for food? They fight your pokemon because you bring them out to defend yourself.
Hence why at the start of any pokemon game you’re almost always told “It’s not safe to go out of town without a pokemon.” Because wild pokemon are attacking you, not your pokemon.
What if Machamps are the humans effected with Pokerus? I mean, if it increases strength, then why not?
I think the Pokémon being trapped in a pokeball theory is a little off. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Pokémon have frequently broken out of pokeballs. For example, the very first episode, Pikachu did it and later on it happens all the time with Misty’s Psyduck.
Here is a fun little poem about hypno that will make you cry in a corner, enjoy.
Come little children come with me
Safe and happy you will be
Away from you’re homes now let us run
With Hypno you’ll have so much fun
Oh little children please don’t cry
Hypno wouldn’t hurt a fly
Be free, be free, be free, to play
Come down in my cave with me to stay
Oh little children please don’t squirm
Those ropes I know will hold you firm
Hypno tells you this is true
But sadly Hypno lied to you
Oh little children you musn’t leave
Your families for you will grieve
Their minds will unravel at the seams
Allowing me to haunt their dreams
But surely all of you must know
That it is time for you to go
Oh little children you weren’t clever
Now you shall stay with me forever.
Wow. What are you smoking? And can I have some?
That was cool, man.
So the Pokerus is basically Phazon from Metroid Prime…
i just realised something
in pokemon dungeon red, your a little kid who has suddenly become a pokemon.
maybe they all live on an island infected with pokerus. and maybe it only effects children.you either become immune or grow up and forget you were ever human
Follow me on instagram @robertomedina
pokemon aren’t real
Wooow really ????
I have two problems with this. One: Machoke wouldnt explode without the belt because then how would its species have survived before they were used by humans. Two: Why cant the pokemon have their own world within the pokeballs? They could have separate little homes in each pokeball or all pokeballs could be connected together into a massive world that pokemon chill in. Other than those two problems i pretty much completely agree, however i still love pokemon and these things actually make me love it more.
When I beat the Elite Four In Pokemon white, my pokemon were infected with the pokerus. I did not feel comfortable in knowing about it and that it actually rapidly grew my pokemon in every way but it didn’t sound bad as I was trying to level them up . Guess its a gift curse scenario. Now that I know it affects humans in the game, that makes me wary . Overall, even knowing that fact , I still love pokemon equally and I will be continuing my search and broad my knowledge with more facts of the pokeuniverse.
2.5 quarts is not 2 and a half bottles of soda. a bottle of soda like the one pictured is a 2 liter bottle, which in itself is a little more than 2 quarts already.
I think you’re taking all of this an extreme level. It’s just a game/cartoon. I doubt kids even think the way that you described everything. Who cares how Pokemons are, or what they go through. None of it is portrayed. I don’t see a reason to fuss around this.
Regardless of what people say about pokeballs, the pokemon can leave them at will, it is shown many times throughout the show that pokemon can leave without trainer approval, examples; Pikachu, psyduck, charizard, etc. In the episode where Ash gets caught in a storm I believe all of his pokemon leave even while he pleads with them to return to the pokeballs.
With regards to the Pokerus, you were wondering what it does to humans. Where do you think all the humanoid Pokemon (Machoke, Jynx, Gardevoir etc.) come from?
If only the actual origin of pokemon was that interesting… Instead they went with the stupid “pokemon created the universe and are sort of gods” thing in gen IV and partially in III. However, since I try to pretend only I and II actually happened, I will accept your interpretation
you do know that pokemon aren’t real.
There’s a theory about Pokeballs.
It say that the pokeball convert pokemon’s DNA into data, or binary code. The Pokeball is like a sort of “USB” where pokemon transit. And yes, they can release them-selves whenever they want. The Master Ball is a bit weirdest… This doesn’t mean that a Pokemon inside cannot leave it, but he don’t have the capacity to don’t being captured… Maybe some childish things like : It only worked with a guy with a pure heart…
If you want to speak more about that, my name is my facebook account, send me a message, I’ve not much friends who really know Pokemon this well
[And sorry for my bad english... French : /]
About Yamask… Yes, the pokedex says that he is a Humans spirit who remembers his latest life… ect…
It doesn’t mean something too, but i’ve heard about a theory that says that the desert where you find the old ruins with Yamask inside… If the Yamask were here… Maybe it means that they died in here… And if I talk about 2 Towes where a lot of people died… Yes, 9/11. And it’s a bit creepy.
And if the Pokérus changed the soul of the dead people in here into Yamask…
But your others facts aren’t convincing. Maybe hypno loves child, yes, but this doesn’t mean that he kept them forever. Maybe he is looking for someone to play with.
The Red Lines, you’re the only one to think that. I don’t know how to say it in english : strenthmarks ?
Golbat… When he sucks blood, it doesn’t mean that he sucks all this blood in one time.
Cubone’s mom. Well. There’s a Theory about this : When Cubone was born, he was a baby Kangaskan. If his mother don’t die, he became a Kangaskan. But if she die, he takes his skull and evolve into Cubone’s.
But there’s an other thing to say : Every Kangaskan are females. So, it would mean that the died only if they give birth to a male…
For Cubone, there is an area where dead Cubone/Marowak skeletons are. The babies take them from there. COMMON SENSE, right? Golbat? It’s not that likely to find them in the games. People go in caves, and they don’t get bitten by bats, usually. USUALLY! And Hypno? Most people will eventually break free of hypnotizing. So imagine tons of children DASHING back home safe. Machoke probably has STRETCH MARKS. My dad gets them, and even women get them sometimes during an over-stretched belly in pregnancy. I got them from too much Wii Tennis. In Pokeballs, it’s pretty nice in there. Pokemon fight to get out because they aren’t used to it! Like I try to break free of big hugs because they CATCH ME BY SURPRISE! Yamask Theory is: Like Ghostbusters! They catch ghosts in those capsule thingies. Silly! At least Yamask evolve into Cofagrigus or whatever you call it, which teach grave robbers a lesson! Beneficial! And with Pokerus, it has no effect and for humans it would be like catching a cold.
Get me?
0.o well freaky but some of it makes since you know but i a little weary of pokemon now….